At Extended-Student-Loan possibilities, we believe the dilemma of student-loan debt is larger than life. This life, this is certainly. That’s why we’re providing you with two more lifetimes to pay it well.
Q: simply therefore I’m totally clear with this, just just what the fuck are you talking about?
A: We hear all of the right time from anxious pupils whom think they’ll probably grow old and perish before they pay back their loans. We’re proud to help you to check them into the eye and“Go say ahead and perish. We’ve got you covered.”
Q: how to carry on my payments if I’m dead?
A: Our patented reincarnation software songs you as you transfer to the next life, seamlessly moving your loan towards the brand new you to make sure you don’t miss just one repayment.
Q: just just How exactly performs this advantage me?
A: By expanding your loan’s “life,” so to talk, we’re able to diminish your payments that are monthly increasing our likelihood of getting paid back. Imagine decreasing the stress that is included with paying down a sum that is unreasonably large of in one life time. Then imagine us reducing the anxiety of loaning those amounts of income to those who majored in philosophy.
Q: therefore, have you been saying I’m able to stop making repayments now and simply allow my future selves protect the rest?
A: Unfortunately, no. It is gonna just take all three of one to out close this thing.
Q: Will this software tell me personally exactly just what I’m gonna be next life?
A: we all know hardly any in regards to the journey that each and every individual makes while he or she crosses over. All we realize for certain is the fact that anything you become owes us a lot of cash.
Q: are you going to allow my future self understand a tiny bit about me personally so your financial obligation does not come completely out of left field?
A: for every of y our debtors, we create a change file with individual data in regards to the client. We discover that an individual is far more acceptable about making re re payments whenever see your face seems attached to their past self when that previous self didn’t major in philosophy.
Q: This all appears great, but just what if we return being a horse?
A: the fact is that you’re about as prone to spend down your loan as a horse when you are in your present incarnation, therefore we’ll take our opportunities.
Q: What if we actually pay back my loan before we die, in this life?
A: Oh, my Jesus, that’s adorable.
Q: I’ve applied for significantly more than 3 hundred thousand dollars in student education loans. I’m wondering if you’re able to let me know why used to do that.
A: is the fact that . . . a question?
Q: I became concerned about applying to grad college and amassing more debt in addition to my undergraduate loans, nevertheless now i’m, like, Screw it, it is the horse’s problem, right?
A: To be clear, you’re not absolutely learning to be a horse.
Q: i do want to be a horse therefore bad.
A: you are known by me do.
Q: Wouldn’t your efforts be better spent finding an answer to increasing tuition expenses, as opposed to attempting to unlock the period of presence through the transcendence of consciousness?
A: You suggest the harder thing? No.
Q: My parents wish to know: when they co-sign my loan, will their future selves be held accountable for it?
A: Yes, however their future selves are able to find your future self to aid down using the loan. Just make sure they recognize that your future self may well not understand what they’re speaing frankly about, because you’re a turtle.
Q: all of this existential talk is making me question that it was me who took out this loan in the first place, you know?
A: It was you whether we can even say for certain.
Q: Or . . . ended up being it?
A: it had been.
Q: how is it possible that I’ll be expected to assume the mortgage of one of my past selves, and find yourself with two loans?
A: Dimensional Double Debt Dipping is forbidden, so no.
Q: What if we keep coming back as somebody from England? are you able max lend loan to transform loan payments from pounds sterling?
A: as of this moment, we don’t have that ability.
Q: started to think about it, some racehorses make plenty of cash. Because you won’t be there, remember if I come back as a racehorse, can I help name him?
A: No? You’ll be the horse.